“PrEP became widely available just after I moved to NYC in late 2014. I didn't know anything about it or how to get it. I started taking PrEP this past Fall.
I get it from Housing Works. I had a consultation with Hetrick-Martin Institute and they directed me to queer friendly clinics that could get me on PrEP and Housing Works in Downtown Brooklyn was the one I chose. My insurance covers most of the cost and the Gilead Co-Pay Discount Program covers the rest.
When Truvada first became widely available, I was really heavy into drugs and alcohol, working in nightlife and not engaging in my own healthcare. I wasn't taking care of myself at all and engaging in a lot of high risk sexual behaviors, without regard to potential consequences. When I got sober in the Fall of 2015, it was because of liver complications related to Hepatitis B. Before that, I had been diagnosed and treated for multiple STI's within the span of a few months.
For 2 years, after my body cleared the Hep B from my system and I tested negative for all STI's, I lived with significant shame for allowing myself to get so out of control. My partner at the time was very understanding, but we didn't have sex for 2 years and when we decided to open our relationship and, ultimately, end things, that's when I took the action to engage in my healthcare and ensure I was protecting myself. I think being educated about STI's, in general, is the key to living a life of sexual freedom.
The reality is that I prefer to have unprotected sex, both for the physical pleasure and the emotional intimacy of it. And if that's my preference, I have to accept the responsibility of going to see my doctor once a month and getting tested for STI's and communicating with those around me. I think STI stigma is a major problem and is becoming more and more dangerous.
I came of age around people who were activists for HIV/AIDS and were very open and willing to educate me around what it means to live with HIV. I don't think I've ever been "afraid" of HIV. I think what I've always truly feared is the dishonesty that stigma creates, both in those who are HIV+ and those who are not. I think we're afraid of each other and that is the biggest problem, in my opinion.
Now that I'm on PrEP and taking care of my body and my mind and releasing a lot of the sexual shame I've been carrying for years, I feel like I'm a better partner to those I have sex with now. And after breaking through my own stigma, I honestly prefer to have sex with men who are Undetectable. I feel there's a sense of understanding that I don't have when I have sex with men who are, what I like to call, "Hyper Negative". (In other words, men who are ultimately very uneducated about sexual health and are so determined to never contract an STI that they are terrified of sex altogether.)
I'd rather know what the dangers are in the world, firsthand. What better way to know how to fight them, right?"
Brett, 27, on PrEP. Brooklyn, NY. Sober-Slut-Witch