“I was in Boston when I got the phone call that began the spiral. Back then sex, crystal meth, and G-d were the only things that got me through the day. I knew what I was doing and I knew the risk; it wasn’t that I didn’t care but at the time it just seemed to be the least of my problems.
In addition to living with HIV, I’ve lived with needle phobia all my life. By the time I had seroconverted, my mental illness had reached a level of severity that was preventing me from seeking any medical care, let alone monitoring or treating my HIV infection. This went on for years until I got sick. My CD4 count was 219. I realized that if I didn’t seek treatment for my mental illness, I was going to die and I didn’t want to. So, I got treatment. With medication and therapy, I learned to deal with my phobia in a way that allowed me to begin HIV treatment.
After failing off 2 ART combinations, I started on Tivicay and Truvada although I've recently switched from Truvada to Descovy. Within 6 months I was undetectable and a year later my CD4 counts had more than tripled. Now, almost 4 years later, I'm still undetectable and my numbers remain in the 800s.
It took getting HIV and almost dying to find happiness and a purpose in my life. I was writing a response to something ignorant on FB regarding HIV and I realized that I had knowledge and skills that could make a difference in the lives of people living with HIV. I wanted to give something back so that others lives might be a bit easier than mine had been. In that moment I realized I wanted to devote my life to HIV activism. It inspired me to take up cycling so I could fund raise and complete my first AIDS/LifeCycle. It brought me to NYC to begin a career in HIV social work. It’s given me an appreciation for life that I don’t think I could have ever felt had I not contracted HIV. So, to quote Edith Piaf “Non, je ne regrette rien.”
My love affair with sex is as a torrid as it ever was albeit in a much healthier way now. I am grateful that because of PrEP others can now share my love for sex more safely and without fear.”
Tyler, 30, undetectable. Brooklyn, NY. HIV Social Worker